what is a group?
A group has been quoted as "a collection of individuals who, as a result of interacting with one another over time, become interdependent,developing shared patterns of behaviour and a collective identity" by Trenholm (2004).
why communicate in groups?
1)need for inclusion, 2)need for control, 3)need for affection
- Wiilim Schutz
group think
1) illusion of invulnerability2) believe in group's own morality
3) shared stereotypes
4) collective rationalisation
5) self censorship
6) illusion of unanimity
7) pressure on dissenters
our group is interdependent sure... but we don't have a collective identity, not even close...
we're a group of 12 girls which by the number anyone can tell that we obviously cannot be the same or think the same, therefore collective or similar identity doesn't even come into the picture.
the need of control doesnt really feature in our group, and even if it did it'd be practically impossible... the need of inclusion and affection is present in everyone... personally i think we just came together because we accepted each other and all the many many many differences very affectionately :)
we aren't invulnerable nor are we cohesive... we have numerous different values and beliefs and different cultures too... all of us dont have the same stereotypes about most things, nor the same views, they differ more often than not... pressure on dissenters which mean pressurize people who dare to speak up, which in our group is zero, everyone just says anything and everything they wish to! self censorship, as supposedly expected is completetly lacking too... everyone in our group of 12 is prominently different and unique in almost every way... we clash and have different opinions and views about most things, we have different interests, dislikes, routines, type of friends outside our circle, cultures and more but yet the there exists no illusion of unanimity... our group is literally unanimous in ways where we need the support of each other... we accept each others differences and most importantly support each other in everything although a few might have a different opinion about certain things... no matter where we are and after how long we meet or talk it always feels the same... same closeness, same affection... our friendship and love has no boundries :)
do you have a group? what is your group like? if not what do you think of groups you've noticed or observed?
Hey Pooja!
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with you that not each group is vulnerable and has the same goals etc. Especially in your group's case. You are so many ladies and I think this will result in a split into smaller subgroups and these subgroups are combined by the friendship among all of you.
So I think that these little subgroups again form some common feelings of invulnerability, shared beliefes etc.
But on the other hand, all the differences among you, make you feel complete. Each individual of the 12 girls is one piece of a puzzle contributing to a complete picture with all the different characters.
So as a conclusion, not everybody in the group must have the same beliefs or values as the others. Of course this can lead to miscommunication and conflict but still it can also be quite positive.
Hmm.. interesting point of view there.
ReplyDeleteYups agreed when said "a group" it defintely differs in terms of culture, beliefs, values and so on so forth.
In each situation of our life, everyone will meet a group whether its taken as the individual personal frenz or just a group of frenz to hang out with or even just your team mates in an assignment in class, work, or sports group.
In each situation, "adjustment" has to be done by each and every individual that is part of that group, mentally & also physically.
But having a group to hang out with, share experiences, talk about different cultures, compare different views, tolerate attitudes and behaviours is the anatomy of being a group.
HI JUPU,
ReplyDeleteI HAVE HAD AGROUP SINCE LAST 35YRS,YES THE SAME GROUP.SURPRISING:THE WHOLE THINK THAT OUR GROUP EXISTS SINCE SO LONG SHOWS THE IMPORTANCE OF A GROUP.WE HAVE HAD OUR SHARE OF DIFFERENCES AND FIGHTS BUT THE ONLY REASON THE GROUP SURVIVES AND GROWS STONGER AND FONDER IS AT THE BOTTM EVERYONE CARES FOR EACH OTHER AND IS THERE BY THE SIDE IN THE LOWEST TIMES OF ANYONE PERSON AT THAT TIME.TO HAVE A GREAT GROUP GOING YOU SHOULD GENUINELY CARE AND LET OTHER FEEL FREE TO EXPRESS THEIR OPINION AND RESPECT THEM,AND IF YOU DONT AGREE STILL YOU MUST CARE FOR THEM.
A group is generally people coming together, sometimes for a specific reason and sometimes just because it's meant to be. Often when people join a group they tend to accquire something called group mentality, they all try to copy each other and think the same way. But our group, the group of 12 we give space to each other to grow individually whilst supporting each other and thats exactly what i love about us!
ReplyDeleteGroup of 12?! I can identify with that:-)
ReplyDeleteI agree with what u said about your group it seems perfectly normal. The definition and group think which you've mentioned before that is probably more applicable to a group which has come together for a particular reason like a cult following or something.
In any ordinary group of friends, like yours, everyone is unique and this uniqueness is an important factor which holds the group together. It is unlikely that everyone is similar in a group they are just called a "group" because they care about each other and are willing to stand up for each other even if its after a long period apart.
Do I have a group? I dunno.
ReplyDeleteI am part of different groups, which all have something in common, either shared interests (e.g. music) or shared history (e.g. school).
Whenever in a particular group, the common factors take over, and there are very few disagreements. These groups rarely go beyond the shared factors.
However, I have observed that most people have "a" group which is by far the most dominant group (if not the only one) in their eco-system. In such groups, it is much more common to have conflicts and differences and adjustments and tolerance and what-nots.
In that sense, I am not sure if I have "a" group.
hi pooja
ReplyDeletei dont have group but i have many mini groups...different friend groups..but they are all unique and beautiful in their own way.
i love your blog...i think meeting friends is so fantastic!
i met a school friend after 25 years...just last month and believe me it was amazing....time had no meaning at all...its like 25 years didnt happen at all
yes i totally agree with what you said abt being part of a group. since im part of this 12 girls i would like to comment on how right u are abt the relationship we share and no matter where we are we will always be there for one another.
ReplyDeleteim part of this group of 12:) and basically all i have to say is that this group of absolutely fantastic friends has by far been the best thing that has ever happend to me:)
ReplyDeleteour group is perticularly intresting because we're 12 very very different people who most often agree to disagree! its the differing view points, the different cultures and backgrounds we come from that really make our friendship intresting.
its amazing how we are so different and yet so alike.
A group can sometimes be a random collection of people who have little in common. It's just important that they are compatible and get along well with each other. Similar interests can be an added boon.
ReplyDeleteGROUPS definately are imp if they help you grow which definaetly they do they give u companionship and love,thus build your confidence,a fine exmaple is a joint family,where someone is found of you otherwise you have enough copedition as well as support to fulfill all kinds of desires,
ReplyDeletei feel a group is necessary in all terms of your life maybe deffirent kinds also
Harmar,
ReplyDeleteYour dads got it right!
However, I -
Couldnt be bothered to put *us* under the magnifying glass because there is no two ways about why im part of this group. If ive gotta be me then ive gotta be part of *us* - and that was probably when all hell broke loose.
Love you ladies.
X
dude i dont noe what id without us..however whacked we are ,however much diff we are tht what makes us US!!
ReplyDeleten id not trade tht for all the money in the world!!!
it makes me complete,it makes me who i am!
love all of u!! xoxoxo
Hey pooja, well i think that it is true that a group doesnt have to be like the same.
ReplyDeletebut however, a group that has the same characteristics would be considered as groupthink right.
so basically a normal group of friends would normally differ in alot of ways
yes i think that group synergy should be carried out be any group so that the r/s between the group would not be as fragile.
welll i have groups.like sports group and all.and we do have different styles of playing and position but we are still a group.so basically i think its pretty hard to just go by the quote and say that oh group members are all the same and all.but then again, the similarity of you 12 girls you mentioned is that you 12 are girls.
wont that be a similarity?
I agree with your ideas on a group as i can relate to it very easily. I do have a group of close friends but i could not really give a number.
ReplyDeleteWe also just like your "group" do not have a common identity. Everyone is different and has their own unique identity. One maybe hard-working, one may like video games, one may like outdoor activities, one may like drinking etc. Each one has some overlapping characteristics but not the same. For example most of us may like football but each one's passion for it is different.
We have our own thoughts for each thing.
Amongst each other we all feel comfortable and enjoy each others company. It is important that one has some sort of group as he or she would feel included or part of something, feel others affection.
hi pooja. yes i have a group of friends... we are 5... and named as HUM PAANCH! but i personally dont believe in the word 'friendship'.... it has to be called 'brotherhood'. cause like yours my friends are more than my brothers for me. although i am the youngest in my group with a gap of almost 12 years between them and me. well, defining friendship is about as nebulous as defining love. Ask 100 people to define friendship and you’ll probably get about 100 different definitions for friendship. And like love, there are different levels or stages of friendship. More and more medical research is showing the physical, mental, and emotional benefits of having friends. When we face difficult times in our lives, good friends listen to our troubles, encourage us to face the next day, and let us know we’re loved. When we know others care about us, we have a refuge. We have someone to help us carry our burdens, but when we feel like nobody cares about us, depression, anger, and bitterness set in and take root. Not only does having friends help us mentally and emotionally, but having friends also helps us with our success in life. so, carry on with ur friendship and live a healthy life. as u must have read in my last comment in one of ur blog that every relationship has to pass the different layer of our life and heart.... the first layer consist of urself and only urself. the second as ur friends....third as ur parents, brothers, wife/husband, fourth as ur teacher, general friends, relatives etc.
ReplyDelete